>This isn’t a post about technology or about development; it is about the emotional toll getting laid off can take. As you can probably guess, I’m getting laid off a the end of December. Having been lucky enough to have gotten through more than 20 years without being laid off, I’m surprised how much this is weighing on me emotionally.
In addition to the lay offs, the company is transitioning to what I’d describe as a holding company at the same time. As of January 1, it will no longer have any staff or conduct any business. From an IT perspective, this means turning off all IT services and systems at the end of the month.
I have known this change was coming for a few months now. I thought that know would make dealing with this easier. I was wrong. When I’m up late at night, I start thinking about all of the work we did over the past eight years and how it must have no value. After all, if it had value, wouldn’t it be kept?
I do know this isn’t the case. The work we did provided tremendous value. It allowed us to compete with much larger players and let us force some positive changes in our industry. That’s something we need to be proud of.
I also know that the decision to shut down operations and lay off all staff was not a personal one. The company is changing because it had to. We were at a point where competing was more difficult and more expensive. Something had to change.
A while back, I read (sorry, I’m paraphrasing because I can’t find the source for this quote – if you know the source, please let me know):
Behind every business decision that forces personnel changes are people feeling the personal impacts of that decision.
In other words, the fact that I am losing my job makes the business decision personal to me. In an odd way, this makes me feel better; it validates what I’m feeling and makes me believe what I’m feeling is normal.
I know I will get through this and will come out the other side a stronger and better person. But it is not a fun road to go through.